m8z,m8z n..m8z

wow i gota say i was a bit hurt wen ash (ayesha) said i dn't tlk bout u guyz enuf in my blog n dat i go on bout da other species 2 much so i thought i'd dedicate a WHOLE blog post 2 u all!!

so dis entry is bout m8z..well not all my m8z coz v wuld b here 4ever so jst da 1z i've been wif 4 ever....

1st is melly smelly (melissa):shez da quiet,silent-laughing..oh n creepy 1 haha.shez da m8 u call wen u need a car n a driver coz ur famz dne sumfing insane,shez da m8 hu wantz 2 help u beat up da guy hu brke ur heart,shez da m8 u call wen u need a self esteem boost (callin me a disposal asset ae mel!!)..shez da m8 u r jealous of coz she eatz all dat fud n never getz fat..shez da doormat v (well i haha) walk all over!!!lol

2nd is kat (kathryn):shez da artistic 1 (haha 2 much english ae kat),shez da 1 dat makez u laugh @ funeralz n getz teacherz 2 call u an EVIL WICKD CHILD!!shez da m8 hu dragz u out shppin wen u feel like crap coz she knwz dat gettin kickd outa shpz makez u hapi...shez da m8 dat is not afraid 2 b a bitch n tell it hw it is...jst leave my feet alone dude,my feet R NOT tiny!!

3rd is devil (sayan):shez da funky,weird n totally insne gurl..shez da m8 u call wen u've dne sumfng reali stupid like get high n ask sum1 out (ahem..shutup devil dat dsn't hppn alt!!)..shez da m8 u go shppin wif coz she luvz plyin "i dare u 2 wear____"!!devil'z house is da house u crash wen u feel like waggin skool,xamz or getin awy 4m ur fam (ahem...)

4th is ash (ayesha):shez da smart 1 (ae ross haha)..shez da m8 u call wen u want sum1 2 knock sense in2 u n tell u dat kissin ur ex'z bst m8 wn't help (dam shuldn't hve tld her dat lol),shez da m8 u go shppin wif coz u knw she will b (brutally) honest,shez da m8 hu tellz u dat ur insane as a cmplimnt,da 1 hu helpz u crash study 4 xamz..n shez da onli m8 dat can mke all da marriage proposalz seem like a gud fing haha

5th is pankz (pankhuri):shez da m8 hu is da defintion of innocnt,da 1 hu is afraid of u n letz u hve POWERRRRRRR!!!!*da quiet 1 dat will turn out 2 b a serial killer hahaha*da m8 u turn 2 wen u jst want 2 tlk but not listen!! da wall u bounce ur ideaz off,shez da m8 hu u can mke jst like u (muhahaha),da m8 hu is even quiet wen insultin sum1 (ahem..da whle slut incidnt haha) n lstly shez da m8 u mock jst coz u can haha *sittin here doin da punjabi movez haha*

6th is aggstar/aggy (agnes):dis is da chick u call wen u wanna jst 4get bout all ur prblmz..shez da gurl dat mkez u laugh no mattr wat,shez da onli m8 dat mkez mockin u seem like a lovin act of frndshp,da gurl hu sitz nxt 2 u in statz n is jst as lost even thou she listnz haha..dis b da chick u txt wen u want confirmatin bout hw blonde u reali r!!haha

dis b my closest m8z in high skool..da gurlz,THEE GURLZ.these b da gurlz u knw will stick up 4 u (even wen ur crazy fam is invlvd lol),da gurlz u turn 2 in ur darkst tymz,da peepz u knw will mke u smile n laugh wen ur dwn..da chickz u do ur dodgy crap wif n get in shit wif..these gurlz b da reasn 4 me 2 wke up every mornin n dey r da reason i go 2 sleep @ nite n luk 4ward 2 yet another very umm intrstin day!!!

frndz,sleepovers,life n crap

hmm well dis is jst gona b me goin on n on so feel free 2 exit dis nw lol..dn't u dare mel!!lol

i jst realisd dis wkend dat in da 5yrz i hve been wif my closest grp of m8z v hve never ever once done nefing gurly (datz xcludin lst wkend ara lol)...i mean wen v hve sleepoverz @ my house v play poker n jin,wtch movies whch mel n me dn't fink r scry enuf,eat utter junk fud,chuck fud @ each other n @ da tv,draw on melz face as she fallz asleep 1st n stay up all nite coz v r all 2 high 2 sleep...but i mean never ever hve v had an sleepover as in a SLEEPOVER!!u knw da american-blonde-model wannabz typez of sleepoverz..i mean v dn't paint toenailz,talk fashion,do each otherz hair,try diff makeup stylez or sit in a circle n tlk bout wat v done wif our bfz (not dat v had bfz back den haha) but srsly v dn't even swap clothez.now does dat mean dat dere is sumfing wrng wif us????or is dis totally normal???but den gain i guess mel,agnes n me were never dat gurly welll dat was b4 agnes did da 360 on us..none of us 3 ever actually did nefing gurly,da gurlst fing i did bk den was wear lipgloss haha (sumfngz change huh??) n 4 me dat was da gurlst i was gona get.i guess us doin ne of dat fake american crap wuldn't mke us mure frndz-ish so v r jst fine da way v r..4 those of u wondrin wat da way v r is let me brk it dwn:

1.v r da witty crew (or jst plain stupid remarkz)

2.defintly all @ da pinnacle of our maturity..hahaha well most of us

3.sportz isn't a word 2 us,itz da meanin of life..hmm gain most of us

4.da mall 2 us is a place 2 b stupid n shopz r there 2 b kickd outa..ae guyz??lol

5.skool is da place 2 b srs(ly stupid n anny da teacherz as much as possible oh n PASS)

6.hugz n ne kindz of gurly affection is a NO GO ZONE..i mean wtf r air kissz???srsly???

7.teasin each other in frnt of a crush is cnsiderd 2 b bst frnd material..n even bettr is pullin out stupid picz,soul frnd material ae guyz??lol

8.pushin each other in2 bushz n tripin each other up in public is cnsiderd 2 b very nice..hmm

9.all pitchin in 2 do da punjabi dance in mac (n mock pankz) is da bst 18 b'day gift ever..muhahah

10.N finally v r da drive by crew,ready 2 egg ne guy dat does ne of us wrng!!! ae jess???

i guess dat dis is mure den those fake-plastic americanz will ever have so THERE!!ha!! n i wuldn't change nefng bout my grp of bst buddiez if i got da chance..wait hmm..jury out on dis 1!!

That Little Girl

The smile on that face,
The twinkle in those eyes,
The life in the hair,
Have not gone away

Time can make you see
Things you never knew
All it takes is a second
For all your innocence to be blown away

But in your smile, in your eyes
In your words, in your actions
I see that little girl
Some where in there..

No… not in the smile…
.. or the eyes.. nor the hair..
Somewhere further away..
Beyond the world’s sight..
Somewhere safe, somewhere warm,
Surrounded by tall walls, protected from pain
Because no one can hurt what they can’t see..

Has she forgotten? Or does she refuse to believe?
Or is it that she doesn’t know??
If she comes out of her safe sanctuary,
Into this big evil world..
She wouldn’t be facing it alone..

You must know where she is.. that little girl..
.. even after all time’s done..
Even after all the bruises, wounds and scars
She’s still there waiting to be let out
Because even after seeing all the things hell’s made of
They just aren’t enough to stop her..
She has so much life in her you see..
Do you really believe she would let it be?
.. act defeated and stand down?

No.. I believe one day.. she’ll come around

The beautiful eyes, the innocent smile.. the life in her hair
.. the absolute innocence and joy of a child..
Something about you tells me..
She’s still there.. not half as far as you may think..
One day hunnybunny, you’ll see.. “that” little girl.. is still in you indeed

By Dharzi

itz momentz like dis dat i feel like da LUCKYST person in da wrld...i knw i knw luck n me in a sentnce!!but wat mure culd i want..i hve found everyfing i need nw n 4ever in frnds like u!! n itz coz of u all dat i wake up everyday finkin i can do dis!!! NO matter wat tym does 2 us..i prmise dat i will never 4get dis..

da stupid male speciez n other crap..

letz strt wif da other crap 1st ae..much mure hapi stuff..lol.2day me n kat went shppin,yes shppin n b4 u ask let me tell u: no i ddn't faint,nor did i whine,i ddn't sit dwn on da ground in da middle of da store,i ddn't fake faint..n no lastly i ddn' t try 2 kill any1 in da store!!newyz v both endd up gettin shoez..n yes i did trip,walk like a drunk n yes i waddled like a duck whle tryin 2 walk in high heelz BUT most imprtntly i ddn't fall like hit da ground fall soooooooooo THERE!!!! dis all hppnd b4 i found DA 1!!!it was like a beacon of lite was shining on it,da perfect size,funky design,totally in my price range n da height (or da lack of height) of da heel was jst PERFCT!!!!lol..so i bought it..kat n me had fun n caught up wif pankz l8r on in da day..

nw on 2 da stupid male speciez..fukin hell hu da hell do dey fink dey r!!!??? srsly guyz r sooooo duh sumtymz i feel like doin wat homer does 2 bart 2 1 of dem idiotz!!onnn wif da story:im @ my auntyz party,i had help clean up n stuff,n den i helpd put da kidz 2 bed n after dat i carrid a conversatin wif my OLD grandprntz like auntiez n unclez in total tamil...there were guyz @ da party n dey were sitin in 1 corner listenin n doin dere own stupid idiotic crap.i was walkin past n 1 of da guyz turnz 2 his m8z n is like ne guy wuld wanna marry her!! n so i turnd around n was like y??n dey were like ur da perfct tamil wife!! n i ddn't tke dat as a compliment actually i took it totally diffrnt n strtd thrwin a fit..dis is da convo well my part lol:

"jst coz i can cook,clean,luk after kidz and tlk 2 ppl in our mother language dsnt mke me da perfct wife..WTF do u fink women r???freakin here 2 do ur biddin???dis is not srilanka..n no gurl is gona bow her head n serve u like her master so get a freakin life n get a new freakin dream wife!!!!coz ain't no gurl gona b like dat...n if u want a gurl like dat y dn't u go bck a few thousand yrz?????????oh n even better y dn't u grow a brain dat is @least bigger den a pea???"

so yep i defintly went all feminist movemnt on dem..i was sooooooooo pissd off!!i mean srsly wat generation do dey live in???oh n did i mention i did all of dis wif a hand oh my hipz, a freakin model pose n da other hand in da air clickin 2 every point i made..oh n my head was doin da whle bring it on tampon fing hahah..i gota say it was crack..but den da guy had da gutz 2 say ooooooo n shez fiesty..wow da perfct wife!!n i did my whle evil eyez,raisd my eyebrw,turnd reali fast makin my hair flick around, n stormd off..oh n i managd 2 pull da fingerz bhind my back lol..hahah i knw i knw i shuldn't hve been so bitchy but dey were askin 4 it!!dn't uz fink???

This little girl…

I hold out the picture,
Starring long and hard.
Who is this little girl in front of me?
She wears a little teasing smile,
With a twinkle in her eye.
Why is it that she’s so happy?
I wonder at what she must have done.
Her hair has a life of its own,
Sprouting from her tiny head.
And those little feet hang off the chair,
Hoping to one day touch the ground.
I can’t see it!
It can’t be!
How can this little girl be me?
Years have wiped the smirk off this face,
And time has faded the twinkle in those eyes.
The life has been sucked out of her hair,
And she has no reason to smile.
There is no more hope for her,
No more dreams,
No more wishes of what could have been.
This little girl lies dead inside of me,
As the world was not what it seemed.

©
18/5/06

kelstonianz cont..

hmmmm ppl hve read da lst blog n hve tld me dat i 4got 2 mention sum very imprtnt stuff so here i go gain lol..haha yep it does get a whle lot worse 4 us kelston peepz..haha

well herez da crap i 4got 2 mention:

1stly i 4got 2 tlk bout da streakrz..yep guyz 4m kelston dumb-ass boiz run thru our skool naked as a dare @ da end of every skool yr hahah.(holdin my hand on a bible)itz da truth n nufing but da truth n i knw i dn't go 2 church every sun but i do own a bible(no need 2 b surprisd)!!!every yr @least 2 stupid (small ;p hahaha) boiz run past our very busy canteen @ lunch!!!by da way da canteen is da place 2 b..itz wea da cool (scaberz) hang out haha i wnder y?lol..but srsly those dickz (no pun intndd u dirty pplz!!lol) fink dat sumhw it mkez den mure of a man or sumfing.hmm man wat moronz but i gota say dey got freakin gutz!!n datz apprciatd on my part lol..oh shutup guyz!!i knw wat ur finking!!lol

but i guess i shuld stp pickin on those moronz coz our gurlz skool isn't much better!!hmm gurlz @ our skool r dumb..letz c firstly in 5th frm a gurl in my science class askd wat a door bell was???WTF..u shuld hve seen me,juile(sleepy)n dez,v culdn't stop laughin!!i mean dat idiot has 1 on her door @ home!!wtf does she fink she has been pressin 4 da last few yrz???IDIOT!!

den l8r on in da yr da class was learin bout da moon cycle..n in 1 part of da cycle onli quartr of da moon is seen.n da same idiot gain sayz :but v never c da moon as a triangle??i mean duh!!srsly freakin dumb!!n dis endd up wif mrs haycock(dn't laugh guyz) hvin 2 explain shinin a torch on a tennis ball!!ahhhhhhh sum ppl man oh n da gurl is in my high motivation (as in A stream class) hahaha i knw i knw!! den dere r da stupid juniorz hu dn't knw dere left 4m dere freakin rite!! i mean is it so hard 2 wlk on da left of da freakin corridr???does it reali require dat many braincellz 2 knw whch is ur left n rite side???soooo as u can imagine v hve a few (rollin my eyez) head on collisionz in our corridrz!!!srsly!!!ahhhhhhh...oh n ppl wen u call a company n dey say ur call is imprtnt 2 dem..reali dey dn't give a SHIT!!so dn't wait 4 freakin hrz until dey get 2 u coz if u were dat fukin imprtnt dey wuld get 2 u strait away..leave u finkin bout whch idiot did dat hahahah

kelstonianz!!!

hmmmmm srsly kelston ppl gota b 1 of da dumbst grpz of ppl i've ever met..jst realisd dat i hve not even once mntiond da strnge n darn rite fukd up shit dat happnz in kelston!!i wnder y???lol

firstly i fink i gota strt wif da UMBRELLA incidnt..N.B dis has nufing @ all 2 do wif klston gurlz,kelstn boiz crap!! newyz a guy got jumpd in da toiletz 1 lunchtym n got a umbrella stuffd up his ass...im not tlkin small umbrella im tlkin da HUUUUUUGGGEEEE 1z wid da reali pointy topz!!wel da whle pointy part got shovd up his u-knw-wat...n as u can guess dis ddn't go dwn well wif my m8 hu was goin out wif 1 of da guyz invlvd!!*n.b he did da shoving n she dumbd his ass strait awy!!*N can u blieve dat dis guy got dis dne 2 him coz he was 'suppsdly' gay n coz those stupid rugby-no braincellz-idiotz had nufing 2 do dat lunchtym!!srsly...

den therez da whle dope dealin-mking son-of-a-science teacher hu got snappd wif a 'P' lab in his hide awy..whch was da house he was rnting (smart smart!!) n mite i add gain dis was onli kelstn boiz..oh n letz not 4get da guy hu wlkd in2 a pole coz he was tryin 2 wlk cool or da guy hu was wlkin up hill n chukd a rubgy ball 2 his m8 onli 2 realise dat it wuldn't wrk wen it came hurtling bk n smackd him in da head or da guy hu said his m8z wankd a dog b4!!but i cn't say itz onli da rugby-sportz-no brainz 4m kelstn boiz dat gve kelstn a rep,itz also kelstn gurlz whch im sad 2 say..

kelstn gurlz has many namez..baby factry,whre house,dog house,druggz heavan..n there r prbbly sum i hvn't heard.n as u can imgine i no lnger say i go 2 kelstn gurlz wen askd whch skool i attnd coz all ne1 knwz bout kelstn is da 'P' mkin teacher,da umbrella,ohhhhhhh n yeaaa da guy hu was high on drugz n ran in2 our skool wif a gun a fewz yrz bk!!*fankfully wayyyyy b4 i wnt dere!!*lol

newyz as u can c im surrnded by complete n utter idiotz..but u gota agree wif me wen i say evryday in kelston is a dam rite intrstin 1!!!hahahahahahahahah

u idiotz im gona kill uz!!

u idiotz..i mean da guy onli said no 2 me..i mean it wsn't da end of da wrld!!!i figured dat uz wuld pull out stuntz but dudez i ddn't xpect uz 2 b dis crzy or dis in2 it!!!wat da hell is wrng wif uz???hve u lost all reasonin???like srsly u dickZ!!da poor guy...hez gona b goin insane bout dis!!

oh n 4 those of uz hu r lost on wat im on bout let me retrack..

..hmm well da answer is no longer pending!it was a no..all i knw is dat he culdn't hurt my stupid ex n da fact our freakin community wn't let it go if it came out, oh n b4 u all ask i dn't knw if it had 2 do wif me @ all..lol (yep im a mind reader lol)

well dis blog is targetd @ slushie 1 n 2,food ppl..n devil!! wat da hell r u doin 2 da poor guy??? i mean itz not like i hvn't heard no b4..wait i hvn't (haha lol) but dat dsn't mean dat u drive hm insane!! as much as i wuld like dat itz not fair on da poor guy..i mean hez lukin out 4 hmslf n hs m8 even if dat stupid neanderthal (yes my ex) dsn't deserve it! i mean it suxz but itz hard 2 find a guy hu is willin 2 take on my ex..so im givin up on findin sum1 hu is willin 2 tke me out coz frankly i dn't knw ne guyz wif BALLZ enuf 2!!haha n datz da truth n nufing but da truth so help me god!!lol..i guess i cn't tell u 2 stop annyin da crap outa him n i wn't lol but dn't take it 2 far guyz....i knw datz freakin rich cumin 4m da gurl hu wantz 2 makeout wif her ex'z bst m8 but guyz araz diff 2 me n dn't u dumbassz send him 2 da aslyum b4 i get da chance 2 do it myslf muhahaha lol!!newyz still luff u idiotz but dn't push ur luck...

Once Bright Eyed

I lost my innocence,my youth,my laughter.

I grew up so fast I didn't understand.

I never understood how you could hurt me.

I never understood how you couldn't care.

In admist all this pain I lost myself,

Everything turned to fear.

Some nights I would cry wishing I were dead.

Some nights i would toss and turn in bed.

In all my dreams I run from a faceless monster,

Trying to escape its deadly grip.

I run and run but I jst can't let it slip.

Everyday i wake up and remember I am not who I was.

I lost everything I believed in,

Everything I loved turned to stone,

Everything I stood for,

You made me feel so alone.

All my dreams shattered into a million pieces,

And scattered a million miles apart.

I tried sticking them back together,

But it was too damn hard!

I'm learning to let it go,

Trying to move on so you don't win.

But don't you worry,

This memory will fade away soon.

U guyz alwyz said dat i had talent..i guess mayb it will help me get over wat 'A' did 2 me..tell me wat u fink ae..not shur if itz dat gud but it showz i got feelingz lol..luff u guyz n fankz 4 being dere 4 me on sun!!i dn't knw wat i wuld do wifout uz!! i knw i dn't tell uz enuf but u guyz do mean da world 2 me n i do fank god everyday 4 givin me m8z like uz..

i is did it..answer pending

well kat i finally did ur stupid dare..oh n 4 those of u hu dn't knw bout it let me bk up ae..

..awhle bk kat dared me 2 ask ara 2 da ball coz suppsdly he was da 1 4 me or sum kinda crap like dat lol...so i tld her 2 give me tym n well i had tym..on sat i saw him @ da dance shw n v spent da 2nd half of da shw sittin outside n tlking.i was wrking up da gutz 2 do it face 2 face but i was feelin like crap n i so was 2 sober 2 do it lol.so i got high on sugar packets,u knw da kind of packets u get @ cafes,had like 5 in a row...turnd out not 2 b da smartest fing lol

newyz wen i got home i txt him n den sumhw 4m dere it endd up wif me jst askin him straight out..dn't even ask me wat hppnd,he said he preferred ppl being straight up so i gave him straight up lol..u knw me n adapting 2 pplz needz lol

newyz dis is da convo:

ME: so den ara i will jst get my dare over n done wif...will u go wif me 2 da ball????

ARA:awwwwwwwww shit i didn't mean ask now coz i dn't got an answer yet..

ME:well u got tym..jst dn't weird out on me ae..*sum other stuff whch i obviously dn't member*

so yea wif dat he clonked out on me,n so da nxt mrning fingz went bk 2 usual..jst a tad weirder thou.

so i spnd all day tlkin 2 devil n shez like wat did he say??WOMEN wat did he say??? n i was like i dn't knw..hw am i suppsd 2 knw wat goes on in his BIG head of his??lol

..den wen i tld devil hw i askd shez like dis:

DEVIL:dude u made it sound like it was jst bout da dare,hvin a bouncer n gettin bk @ ur ex..y ddn't u tell him da real reasn y u askd??

ME:do i hve 2..i mean wat he dsn't knw won't kill him,literally haha

so after much debate btween us n her callin me a wuss,chicken n other stuff whch is R18 i gave in n tld her dat i was still da DARE GUTZ QUEEN n txtd ara..

dis convo went on 4 ever..both of us ignorin da suppsd 'real reason' i askd him n finally i got sick of it n tld him dat i askd him not coz of any of da fingz metiond b4 but coz i wantd 2 n if he ddn't get it den he ddn't get it!!!so yeaa......dis endd up wif him sayin i shuld hve an answer by nxt wkend..nw dis makez me wnder if devil is rite,is he GAY??hahahaha i mean da guy wantz 2 fink..devil seemz 2 fink dat if he has 2 fink bout sayin yes 2 me den he must b GAY(fankz dude,totally needd dat self esteem boost lol)..oh n she also said if da answer was no dat he mite get a few threatenin emailz 4m randum ppl(dat idiot put his email ad on hi5) well dis b gettin 2 long so over n out..OH N DA ANSWER IS STILL PENDING LOL