Broken

The darkness which had engulfed my life,
The pain that had shattered my tiny heart,
The tears that had stolen my innocence,
Were all taken from me when you came into my life.
Your goofy laugh and cheesy grin robbed me of my broken heart.
It seemed that you were the knight I had been waiting for all my life.
You gave me smiles without reasons,
Hugs without intentions,
And a hope of a love without expectations.
Yet it seemed that you could break what was already broken.
The safety and love of home in your arms resided,
And the yellow you once gave me disappeared.
I lost all reasons and searched for the peace only death would give me.
Before the darkness consumes me, once again,
I need you to know that when I said forever,
I meant my heart was yours, in this life time,
And also in the next six.
All I knew and loved about you and me is withering away slowly.
But I’ll lick my own wounds,
And tend to my own scars.
Once again on my broken face,
A beautiful smile will hide the pain.

By neesh
© 21/5/07

i've been told by da m8z hu hve read dis poem dat itz brilliant..even i hve 2 admit itz actualy preti gud.it kinda suxz dat i had 2 go thru all dat pain 2 write it thou..wish fingz culd of been diff,mayb tym will heal all woundz but 4 nw dat beautiful smile dat mkez otherz notice me has 2 hide my pain.never knw dat i culd eva b so raw n honest..feel xposed,esp coz im 1 of those hide my emotionz kinda ppl but yea dis is hw much he made me hapi n dis is hw much he hurt me!funi ain't it hw i thort no amount of wrdz culd describe wat him n me went thru in dis past yr but it seemz wrdz r enuf.o n bout my last blog entry..i've changed my mind,if itz meant 2 b it will b.wateva god has writn in my book is wat will happen so obviously dis was all meant 2 happen 4 a reason!boi o boi dis reason better b so freakin osum ae!!lol leavin dis entry wif da hope dat u all never have 2 understnd 1st hand wat dis poem meanz..

broken hearted

well no1 knwz dat my blog is officially up n runnin gain..whch is osum.i jst need 2 vent 2 sum1 hu i dn't knw n will prbbly neva knw!well as usual da title of my post preti much givez it away..duhhh lol
so heaz wea da stry is @:
i luv dis guy, he knwz i luv him, v had a bit of a fing, im not sure wat u wuld call our fing but 2 mke it easier 4 u normal ppl out dur im call it a "bf/gf relationshp" *whch obviously dsn't include da no strngz attchd,denying fing dat actually happnd lol*, da fing endd lyk a month-ish bck n im still in luv wif him n 2 mke it mure complicated v r tryin da whle "letz b m8z fing"...
aiyoooooooooo..bhagavan..y o y do i alwyz hve 2 hve da fukd up luv lyf???
nwyz i miss da guy, n i luv him mure den eva but i cn't do dis whle frndshp fing.im not sure wat 2 do..evrytym im not wif him i wanna b n wen i am wif him it killz me!!!wtf is wrng wif me???im so twistd!!!yep da old "nuke guyz-fuk da wrld-fuk evry1" me is strtin 2 cum bck 2 lyf!!!i dn't knw wat 2 do...it feelz 2 l8 2 get him bck but ppl keep tellin me dat i will get hm bck if i want 2.datz da fing thou, my heart wantz 2 but my headz tellin me dat i need 2 protect myslf.i mean if he brke my heart once watz da guarntee dat he wn't do it gain rite???o n 4 those of u out dur hu r still freakin amazed @ da whle me bein able 2 luv..OMG i knw!!!lol but itz 4 real, i meant 4eva in da literal way..itz offical i hve a HEART...
dis whle fing is killin me, he was my bst m8 n also da guy i luvd..n now i've lost both!!datz esp wat is mkin it hard, da onli person hu wuld knw wat 2 do is him but i cn't ask him!!actually i reali wanna jst ask him wat i shuld do but i fink even 4 me datz a lil 2 nutz n stpid!lol hez da reasn i began 2 luv lyf,hez da reasn i strtd livin,hez da reasn 4 most of my hapinss yet hez killin me n he dsn't even notice it. my m8z keep tellin me dat guyz deal wif it in diff wayz..but does he reali hve 2 b wif a diff gurl evryday???i knw itz not lyk dat, i knw dey r all jst m8z but itz lyk hez rubbin my nose in it.i feel reali insignificant,lyk i ddn't matter enuf 2 b sad ova,lyk he ddn't lose nefing 2 imprtnt in his lyf.i h8 feelin lyk dis,yup i h8 2 admit it but im jealous!!OMG hu wuld of eva thort huh???lol yes dis is hw much i luv him lol..
i jst wanna kill evry single gurl on da planet hu getz close 2 him n i jst feel lyk freakin beatin da crap outta him!aiyooooo y o y does it hurt dis much..itz lyk im da onli 1 hurtin n lyfz jst bck 2 nrmal 4 him.itz not fair,i knw wen has my lyf eva been fair but it still managez 2 hurt n surprise me evrytym...i want him *not in a dodgy way lol* i want da guy i luv bck..i want a 2nd chance but i dn't fink he will cum bck.da distnce btwn us grws evryday n it hurtz 2 much 2 b in da bckgrnd..so i guess i hve actually made up my mind??i shuld confront him rite??i shuld jst ask him if i, if v can hve a 2nd chance..rite???n if itz a no i hve 2 leave rite..i hve 2 leave not jst physclly but emotionlly dis tym 2!!!i cn do dis rite???i've been thru much worse,but it seemz dat hez capable of breakin sumfing which is alrdy broken..im a fighter so i will mke it thru da darknss rite???o pls sum1 tell me dat i can do dis...