Dear God

Its funi how long it takes 4 a person 2 learn da meaning of life..sum can live a whle lifetym n still not figure it out. It took me 1sec 2 realise wat da meanin of my life was but it took less den dat tym 4 my innocence to shatter.how is it i can have mure den da average person n still feel like im missin da most imprtnt fing in life???? i dn't even knw wat it is dat i feel im missing out on,all i knw is dat sumtymz it hurts so much dat itz hard 2 breathe...
I am fankful 4 da wonderful fingz i hve in life esp my luvin bunch of frnds n i guess my family..but even dey cn't mke dis hole go away..watever hole it is im on bout...
There was a tym wen I blieved God, there was a tym wen i knw dat u were up there lukin after me and dat u wuld protect me..but sumwea inbtwn i lost u God n i dn't knw hw 2 find my way bck 2 u..wen i was lil my fav biblical story was the 1 bout da lost sheep wea da sheppard leaves da herd 2 find it, i luvd it coz i blieved dat if i ever lost my way u wuld find me...but nw dat i've grwn up im not so sure. i mean yea i go 2 da temple and 2 church but its not da same...sumwea life got in da way,it made me in2 sum1 i ddn't want 2 b but i had no choice if i wantd 2 survive. I dn't understnd hw so much can happn 2 jst 1 persn in such a short tym..y is it dat those hu r bad get everyfing in life n those hu strive for good r da 1z hu r stood on??? my sunday skool teacher alwyz told me dat it was never 2 l8 2 mke ur way bck 2 da lite but hw can u mke ur way bck wen u dn't even knw wea 2 strt??? all i wantd as a innocent child was 2 prtect my family,luv my frnds and mke da wrld a better plce but sumwea alng lifez journey all i wantd was 2 survive,no matter wat i had 2 do or say 2 get 2 da end...i guess if i do blieve dis meanz im goin 2 hell but wat does it mean if i dn't blieve???God,is there reali a pot of gold @ da end of da rainbow?