crazy kiya hai

well lyf has been preti much lyk my title..freakin rollacster ride l8ly!!well letz tlk bout da lowz 1st so i can leave on a high note!hmm..well i tried 2 sort fingz out wif pagal 4 real dis tym buh i dn't knw.my heartz still brken n he continously keepz breakin it by,well by bein him!im constntly mkin an effort wif dis frndshp n im alwyz stndin up 4 him gainst u guyz even wen i doubt dat he actually carez bout me!y cn't i jst give it up???y do i still care n give my 100%??farout even 1 of his bst m8z is cnstntly tellin me 2 let it go n dat hez not worth it..buh datz da fing dat no1 (esp ara) seemz 2 realise-no matter wat he does or sayz 2 me dur wn't b a single nite wea i wn't inclde him in my prayerz!im beginnin 2 slwly let go of all da effort,beta l8 den neva rite..nwyz i've stppd all da stupid drinkin n avoidin u guyz.yup finally realised dat i ain't gona slve nefing in my lyf by slwly killin myslf!sowi guyz,i knw i must of fukd da crap outta u all!im reali reali SORRY!
on a happier note ive had a crck tym thse last few wkz..esp wif da asian gang!god am i a asian wannab!!hehe dur u go kat i admittd it lol!:D went 2 katz amazin race fing which i helpd out in!was a crck as tym n after dat v all went 2 momo's tea plce (rite??) n my inner asian came out even mure lol buh yea it was da 1st tym i had gone 2 ne asianclub event or gone out wif my m8z all yr!!(i KNW lol) after dat wkend it was tym 4 melz event whch was foodoke-fud n singin lol.DAM was dat osum!kat n me were voted bst singers 4m our room 2 verse da other 2 4m da other rm..er,dey wipped da floor wif us lol!!den mel n me went 4 best performance,v danced n sang (if u can call it dat lol) 2 pussycat dollz-dn't cha!!:D endd up wif me gettin up on da table n basically dancing lyk a hoe lol..den mel joind me n v jst actd lyk major skankz lol!was soo funi coz da boiz were all hoootin lol den v hppd off da table n mel dared me 2 use da mike stand as a pole!so yea me bein me endd up bein well da wannab 'pole-dancer' 4m da picz last yr lol..poor kat hid in da darkness,loudly voicin hw she ddn't knw us (mstly me i fink lol) buh all in all i had a crck as tym!n bettina n me had a crck tym jst dancin,screamin n gigglin all avo/nite.dammit!i was soOOOOo sober so yea i did member dat all da nxt day buh i kinda lost my voice till mon so yea i culdn't even moan bout how much of an idiot iam lol!!!god i luv asianz!!no1 actualy tlkd bout mel n me bein hoes or dissd us or nefing so yea im still wlkin round wif me head high (er..kinda lol).
itz da holz nw buh im still in da bunker wif dom 'stdyin'..hehe v went n tuk sticker picz wif kat 2day,den caught up wif cafey huz on holz 4m welly,den i endd up gettin chased by mel n dom 4 da pineapple lumpz whch i refusd 2 share!!!lol o n btw i got chased thru lvl0 commnz durin da nite (not wearin shoes) n im tryna jump ova chairz,avoid runnin in2 da fotocpier n not trip ova chair legz whlst evry1 huz actually stdyin lukz @ us lyk v r cmplete freakz!!btw did i mention dat ara n his whle crew was dur 2 lol..ahem..im mature 2 da max!!ooOOOo buh guess wat da best part has been???priv (nu uni m8) prmisd me a ride on his motorbike 4 my bday as a gift!!osum huh????im soo xcited jst hpe he dsn't kill me or pull out lol.hpe i manage 2 keep smilin till my bday is ova n done wif ae..im sure i can manage dat wif all da chick flick cd's dom got 4 me as an early bday presnt!!hahaha GURLS RULE N BOIZ DROOL..btw ne1 chck out da red moon 2nite,hpe u did coz dat ain't gona hppn 4 anthr 33yrz or sumfing lol n by den thse of us hu r alive wn't b seein nefng :D hehe

Dear Anonymous

Anonymous said...
hmm..u hav quite an interesting blog..just wanted to tell u dat there are bigger things in life apart from a guy who cant see how much he means to u..i dont think you should waste your tears and be unhappy because some other person who has other priorities now all of a sudden cant see the nice person in YOU. Hold on to your self respect and deal with this like any mature person would do..save your emotions for a person who may deserve it someday. Looks like you have quite a number of friends who are willing to stick up for you no matter what. Since u complain about your Uni, your lucky that you have a Uni to go to. U have friends to talk to..there are people who you probably dont even consider a true friend but if u sincerely go up to them during hard times..even a random person would care enough to help. All i want to say is, ur not alone. Tears, depression etc is not uncommon..it takes a LOT..to see beyond all the crap thats going on in your life and look at the positives that do exist..and that actually matters. wen u turn back and look at life..ul be proud of how u handled things. wen ur low..and feelin like crap..u may think nothin good exists..but regardless of anythin..it does exist..keep telling urself that. because its true. Make a difference in someone elses life..maybe a friend's..maybe in yours? maybe at home?Life is so precious..10years from now if you look back..these problems would seem so small..look at the bigger problems out there..whether your dad hurts u..or your home seems unhappy..at least u know who your dad is..at least u have a HOME..and whether he is a good person or not..he is ur father..imagine losing your entire family overnight for some weird reason..its happened to people before..im not saying your problems are small..it must be hard..and it must hurt..but do everythin u can to look beyond everythin no matter what happens..if anythin all these problems are just making u a stronger and a better person :) something good comes out of everything. its true.

Well dis is wat u left as my blog comment last tym i postd!so i decidd dat since ur wordz reali hit home dat i wuld dedic8 a whle blog post 2 u lol!no,buh reali im reali gr8ful 4 ur str8 up sincere wrdz!just wonderin do u knw me???n hw did u happen across my blog???? oOOOOo n u r so rite i shuldn't b wastin my tym on a guy hu dsn't even realise my existnce!it suxz dat i feel so strngly bout him n he dsn't even c me buh lyf goes on lyk u said!n i do admit dat i am luckier den most ppl!i do hve a roof ova my head,a family datz now bck in 1 piece, a stble(ish) cash inflow n gr8 ( i mean FREAKIN OSUM) m8z!!!i am gr8ful 4 those fingz evryday,itz those fingz dat get me thru all da shit in my lyf!buh even sumdayz itz not enuf 2 hve those fingz coz durz still a hole in my heart;dis void dat nufing seemz 2 b able 2 fill!n itz on those dayz dat i vent on my blog esp coz i cn't seem 2 let my m8z in nemure!i knw i shuld trust dem enuf 2 tell dem hw i feel esp coz i knw no matter wat it is i say or do dat dey will fully stand by me or ctch me b4 i hit rock bottom buh now dayz i jst dn't feel safe enuf 2 let ne1 in!i wuld neva hve thort dat on da 1st day of uni dis yr dat i wuld end up lyk dis..i wuld neva hve imgind dat i culd lose sum m8z,cry till i had no tearz left n b even mure brken den eva b4!BUH u knw wat in a strnge twistd way im gr8ful dat i went thru all dis utter crap..i met sum of da gr8st n most inspirational ppl durin dis tym,i learnd xctly hw much strngth i had in myslf n i realised xctly hw beautiful da wrd frndshp culd b!4 now itz enuf 2 hve thse ppl hu luv me n hu wuld do nefng 4 me n mayb 1 day soon i will feel safe enuf 2 let dem in gain!lyk i alwyz say 2 ppl:"itz not bout knwin a million ppl;itz bout knwin 1 person hu will stnd by u wen a million r gainst u!!!" n da funi fing is i jst realisd dat i've got da mst precious n amazin gift in lyf:im constntly surroundd by amazin,carin,luvin,funi people hu r beautiful both inside n out!i reali am blessd n it suxz dat it tuk u, Anonymous, 2 mke me realise dat coz it was rite in frnt of my nose 4 so many yrz buh despite my slownss im hapi dat i did evntually click lol!fank u fank u n fank u!u did 4 me wat i hve done 4 so many otherz n i dn't fink i will ever 4get dis (dn't tke dat da wrng way,my nickname is amnesia 4 a reason lol).may godblss ur lyf lyk ur wordz hve blssd mine n i do hpe dat if i dn't knw u dat da starz hve a story 4 us!hehe